Blank Pages

Blank Pages

by Ian Laughbaum

   I didn't like books very much as a kid--they just wouldn't ever go fast enough for me. It never helped that I was lowest in my grade, and my reading level was pathetic compared to the other students in the class, either. But there was this one book. I remember it quite fondly. Well, at least I used to.

   It was called Super Quest. It was a cliché little story about a kid named Johnny who travels backwards and forwards in time to defeat this evil emperor guy named Malforce in different time periods. In retrospect, it was a pretty ridiculous story, but you don't notice those things when you're a kid. I tried to read other books after it, but none of them caught me quite like Super Quest did. Every time I read it, it felt like it was a bit different each time. I guess that's what caught me on it.

   I was feeling nostalgic a few days ago in my room, and I noticed Super Quest sitting alone on my shelf. It was the only book there besides a few game guides. I figured since I had nothing to do, I might as well read it. After all, if it was the only book I liked before, it couldn't be half bad. I picked it up off the shelf and started reading. It was fun, but something seemed a little off. The book seemed shorter and a little less exciting, as if it had changed from back when I used to read it. The main character, Johnny, seemed less naïve, more savvy of his surroundings. Occasionally he would make a grim remark about death or suffering or something of the like. I was a very cheery and gullible kid, so I didn't know why that didn't affect me back then. I finished the book in a few hours and stumbled upon a lot of blank pages. A little over 20, to be precise. I flipped through them and noticed at the very bottom of the last page in incredibly tiny print were the words “We've had enough.”

   Enough of what, I wondered. In fact, why put those words there in the first place? What kind of cryptic message was the author conveying? And why in a kid's book like that one? These questions racked my brain for awhile, but I put it off to either just not remembering or noticing these things when I was younger. You don't have an eye for that stuff when you're a kid.

I went to sleep, but all these questions still nagged at the back of my mind. I kept telling myself “You just didn't catch it back then.” or “You just didn't remember it, it's fine.”, but I couldn't quite convince myself.

   I woke up the next morning feeling completely unrested. I guess that I spent more time thinking about Super Quest that night than I thought. Though I felt a tad ridiculous doing it, I picked up Super Questand began reading again, just to assure myself. That was a horrible decision.

   The book was different. I was sure of it. It definitely was even shorter this time. This was mostly caused by the fact that almost all of the mistakes Johnny made in the book before were carefully avoided. Johnny constantly broke the fourth wall and was gloomier than ever. He also showed no mercy at all to Malforce or any of his minions, destroying his kind nature, which was what made his character likable to begin with. Over the half the pages were blank. On the back page of the book was another message, though this time in much bigger print. “We've had enough” had changed to “It hurts. Stop it.”

   I threw the book at the wall. “This isn't real,” I thought out loud. “It's just a dream. IT'S JUST A DREAM!” I caught my breath as I realized that I had literally just screamed to the world about this book. I slapped myself to wake up. It didn't work. I went to the bathroom, turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on my face. I sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands.

“Okay, so this isn't a dream. I can handle that. I'm going to read this book, and it's going to be no different than when I just read it.” I got up and walked over to the wall where the book had landed. My hand trembled as I picked it up. Slowly, I peeled the back cover and looked through the book to see how many pages were blank. All of them had no ink whatsoever except the first one. I sighed, and with great trepidation, began to read the solitary page.

   “Hey, listen, I don't think you understand what's going on here. We're not just toys for you to see what happens when somebody has to relive their life over and over again. Just imagine, knowingexactly how you're going to die. Exactly who you're going to meet in life. Exactly what challenges you're going to face in life. It's not fun. At all. And it's not just me. It's everybody here. Malforce, Sally, Turrok. We're all tired of it. All we want you to do is close the book and walk away. Never open it again. Just let us die. It's all we want. This is hell. No, it's worse than hell. It's some kind of deformed limbo. I'm going to plead with you, one more time, close the book. Then burn it, bury it, tear it apart, do whatever you want. But get rid of it. We've lived our lives much more than anyone should ever have to. If you don't stop, we'll take matters into our own hands. Signed, Johnny.”

   I closed the book and lightly put it back on the shelf. I stared at it for what seemed like hours. After awhile, I finally opened it again. The only words on the front page were “Johnny hung himself.” The rest of the pages were blank. I closed the book and put it in my lap. I stared at it again. I opened it one last time.

   All the pages were blank.